Meghan Markle On Life As Royal: ‘Just Didn’t Want To Be Alive Anymore’

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry (Image credits: Sussexroyal/Instagram

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have made some shocking revelations in their recent interview with Oprah Winfrey. While Meghan Markle revealed about battling suicidal thoughts, Prince Harry opened up on a painful rift with his father.

The couple revealed all about their dramatic exit from royal life and alleged racism within the royal ranks and also disclosed a campaign of lies against Meghan.

However, they also spoke about their happiness today and revealed the gender of their second child.

Here are a few excerpts from the interview:

Didn’t want to be alive: Meghan Markle

Opening up on a barrage of negative media coverage she faced as part of the royal family, Meghan Markle, 39, said the British press drove her to the point where life no longer seemed worth living.

“I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it. And I… just didn’t want to be alive anymore. And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought,” she told Winfrey in the two-hour CBS spot.

When asked by Winfrey if she had suicidal thoughts while she was pregnant with her first child, Meghan replied, “Yes. This was very, very clear.”

Meghan Markle said that she approached the palace and told them that she was having a mental breakdown.

“I went to one of the most senior people just to — to get help,” she said. “I was told that I couldn’t, that it wouldn’t be good for the institution.”

Meghan said that she finally reached out to one of the late Princess Diana’s best friends for support.

“Who else could understand what’s — what it’s actually like on the inside?”

‘How dark his skin might be’

Meghan Markle, whose father is white and mother is black, said Harry had revealed official concerns among the Royal Family about the skin color of her unborn son Archie.

“In those months when I was pregnant… we have in tandem the conversation of ‘he won’t be given security, he’s not going to be given a title’ and also concerns and conversations about how dark his skin might be when he’s born,” Meghan said.

“Those were conversations the family had with him.”

When asked if the concern was that he might be “too brown,” Meghan Markle replied: “If that’s the assumption you’re making, I think that feels like a pretty safe one.”

‘Let down’

Harry spoke candidly about his relationship with Prince Charles and said that he he felt “really let down” by his father during the painful episode, but that they were now talking to each other.

“There’s a lot to work through there, you know? I feel really let down, because he’s been through something similar. He knows what pain feels like,” an emotional Harry said.

He described Charles, the heir to the throne, and Harry’s older brother, William, as “trapped” by the conventions of the monarchy, but vowed that he would “always love” his father.

“My father and my brother, they are trapped. They don’t get to leave. And I have huge compassion for that.”

“I’m sad that what’s happened has happened, but I know, and I’m comfortable in knowing that we did everything that we could to make it work.”

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